Yeah, so the Grammys happened. Whatever. I paid as much attention as I ever have (by being totally oblivious to the fact that they were even on). The only “news” I was privileged enough to learn when I opened the Twit machine or Sludgebox was that Kayne was talking smack about my boy Beck.
Surely you’ve all heard this somehow interesting trivial whogivesadamn, so there’s no way I’m putting in the effort to track down links to back up what I’m saying. Use the google machine, forchristsake!
Silly as this nonsense was, it got me thinking: fuck any of you who worked hard and were rewarded with popularity! Instead of indulge in this junk, I only see fit to indulge myself, instead.
Tonight, from 11:00 to midnight, tune in for Operation Manatee’s Wish This Were A Grammy! Or something. Whatever. Cory’s still not here, so I’m winging it.
Best Musician: Beck – Say Goodbye
Best “Urban”: Buck 65 – Leftfielder
Best Spooky Rock: Garbage – Only Happy When It Rains
Best Weird Old Man Music: Tom Waits – Sins Of My Father
Best Rock n Roll Guitar Stuff Whatever: The Harpoonist & The Axe Murderer – Feel Me Now
Best Noisy Mad Genius Shit: Aphex Twin – s950tx16wasr10 (earth portal mix)
Best Foreign: Mike Patton – Urlo Negro
Best Weird-Ass Cabaret Rock Pop Something Something: John Southworth – Man If We Could Surf Forevermore
Best Drugs: The Flaming Lips – A Spoonful Weighs A Ton
Best Band Of All Fucking Time: Pantera – Drag The Waters